Years later, when memories start to fade, I will still remember the corner where we sat, the food that we shared, and the little talks never seeming to end. I will remember the very paths we walked on and I can see myself taking those walks again, reminiscing what will have been. I will remember you, and your face will pop up whenever I come across something familiar. Not only do I know it but I have lived with it. It happens all the time, for every single encounter.

I am so used to having people walk out of my life without saying a word. I have never seen any of them back since, which makes it even more difficult to move on. I have had this occur to me, over and over again, for so long that I am now prepared for this, before everything starts to go downhill. I picture myself down the road thinking, that should be all there is to it; no one is more special than another. I am pretty convinced the karma repeats itself, sprinkling more epiphanies. But to be honest, I am kinda sick of this.

I guess at this stage of life, I have been familiar with being handed what I cannot have, and I am wise enough now to know to let it go from the beginning. It is such a tortue though, to clearly get signs that it is meant for you but in reality, it is just not. When synchronicity speaks, you could not help but being thankful for what happened. You could not resist and you knew you would have to pay the price. What comes around goes around. One of us needs to cut off this vicious cycle.

Why do they need to tell me what the ending is like? I am ambivalent about it. It stops me from getting hurt too much, again, when things fall apart, but at the same time, from enjoying the experience to the fullest. It does not mean to be a complaint, but it seems to have been more like it. I can somehow feel my angles whispering to my ears, "What more do you even want?" Well, in fact, we always know what we want, but it is not always the right thing. Like I said, it does not matter what we want anymore. Sometimes it is not even about being right or wrong; it is simply because you are too scared to take the leap. Fear gets in the way of many decisions, so trust in the process is important here.

May I be honest for once?
I am very confused.
I have so many questions that I am not even sure I want to know the answers.
But if I had to, would it be okay to,
be confused,
with you
...