The Goodest Friend

We've been together for 6 months now. I'm glad she finally detaches herself from the gossipy world she never belongs to. After everything, we always find our ways back to each other, and I thank God for that. She was blinded by lust, among those lurks and perks that once brought her on top of the world. They made her feel important, giving her what she wants but not what she needs. She's forever a fragile girl who just cannot grow a thicker skin. We grew very much apart when she met him. She reached out to me whenever she got hurt, only to see herself rushing at him when she got the chance. Talking about it today, she merely laughed it off.

It takes me a hard time to take her back to where she deserves. I set out rules for her to follow, lifting her up so that she would not get trapped in the vicious cycle of mediocrity. I motivate her to be the best she can, and she seems on board with the idea. I do have to compromise once in a while, since she just cannot cope. She's now in a much better place.

She stays mostly inside and alone in her thoughts. Everyone seems to get very much under her skin. She loses patience very quickly, so I try to accompany her in many socializations to make sure she remains connected. I teach her some humor too, but it is nowhere near what she used to have. Her humor is sometimes bitter. I blame myself for letting her clinging to that circle for so long that she almost lost herself to it. Now that she left, she finds no one else to drag along.

I don’t know what’s scarier, the darkness in the sky or darkness in her soul. She quickly stripped off the glamour, not to forget the colourful makeup so that her head could lay on a soft ground. Let’s put some music on. Taylor’s would be the best.

Her eyes were shut, but definitely not her mind. She traversed through the past, trying to recall memories, and faces whose names was the only thing she could remember. Have I not told you so? When it heals, you’ll forget them in the blink of an eye. But too bad, the pain forever exists.

What hurts her hurts me times million. I could do nothing but watch her suffer in silence. Helplessness is what kills the selfless, you know. Cruel as this may sound, I rather see her heart broken by the boys than frozen to death. It was damaged but warm back then. Every time we make out, she is ashamed to admit being reminded of her unhappy past. I just hold her hand, and we go on to stare the ceiling until the sun comes up.

I slowly put the airpods away. A slight frown was caused by a desirable disruption. I knew she knew I knew she wasn’t asleep. Another sleepless night to go, for both of us. What if she again wakes up in the middle of the night crying like a little kid? If it happened again, at least I’m here now. Wait, I wouldn't be sure what to do. I was trapped in her head. Hey, but at worst we would again try to sleep through it. No one will help, no one.

🎶 And wonder about the only soul who can tell which smiles I'm fakin'
      And the heart I know I'm breakin' is my own. 🎶