See Me
On countless of attempts to project what goes beyond me, here is my best shot.When you can finally catch your breath, your eyes begin to fall onto the broken pieces scattered along the way. Every single day, you are busy picking up the pieces the best present yourself to the world, so busy that you completely ignore what they truly look like. Now that you crawl back, starring at them with your very soul, only to realise how fragmented it was in the first place. You are foreign even to yourself. You are detached, and inconspicuously, it sucks you into a bottomless hole of questions about your own existence. Once in it, it is a no easy task to escape.
These fragments have gone unnoticed for years, constantly suppressed in the form of negativities. When the twin fire is lit, they spring up all over the place that you have no idea where to begin to collect. The fragments are entangled in a complex web of emotions, manifesting themselves as fear, envy, hatred and you name it. They are made up by thousands of inner childhood wounds. And not in this lifetime alone, they encode struggles passed down from generations, along with the karma accumulated from many past lives that is embedded in your DNA. It is perhaps an overstatement, but who knows really; people are immensely complicated.
As you continue to peel down each layer, the truth exposes itself so unimaginably raw that you can't help wondering if this is the rawest part you can touch. At some point later, you may find out more but it is already scary to even think about how it would go down. There is no clear distinction; shadow and light intertwine in such a surreal experience. And you will walk out integrated. After all this time, you still have enough reasons to believe in kindness, but ironically, it was cruelty and wickedness that provoked the most profound transformations in you.When reality finally hits, you look up and catch sight of the very one that leads you onto this spiritual journey. You are lost in his eyes and through them you get to see yourself deeper than you could possibly imagine. You also see him deeper than you ever see anyone, so deeply that you are willing to put your guard down and reveal yourself unmended. He overfills me and empties me at the same time. And I honestly do not know what gives me the audacity to leave trust on the line with my bare hands and surrender to uncertainties.
Sometimes I think it is too much of a burden to seek understanding as seeing yourself through is already hard enough. It feels like you can't love youself enough for going through these existential complexities, just as much as you can't help loving all of his vulnerabilities, including the darkest sides he inadvertently manifests and the unforeseeable changes that come our ways.
What is you is reflected within me.What is me is projected onto you.
If anything, I shall pray,
for the courage to see the truth.